If I Say... What Do You Feel?

As a writer, the biggest struggle I have is to invoke emotion out of a reader. I never understood how to create "the feels" but I definitely know how it feels to get them from other authors. In my mind, creating a plot, snappy dialogue and realistic characters are things that can be taught, but the feels. To me, that's what separates a good writer from a fantastic one. It's also the reason why, if I get the feels, a book can receive an entire star higher than what it should've gotten.

Below, I'm going to share a few pieces of writing. I'll try to make them short. I hope it's alright guys, but I need you to be my reading guinea pigs. For each paragraph, I'm trying to invoke an emotion [yes, "the feels" counts as an emotion.] I'd really appreciate it if you can tell me a) if you got any emotion, b) what emotion you got and c) what I need to work on.

Piece #1

imagine being sad with a constant reminder that at one point, you felt like you were invincible. standing on the edge, you'd think to yourself, "how could it change in such little time?" imagine seeing the person you loved with another and wondering if it was you who gave up too easily. and when there's absolutely nothing left, imagine the only picture of us underneath your pillow - too painful to look at and too painful to burn.

Piece #2

“Can I drive?” I ask giddily as we enter the garage, last to leave.

“I don’t know. Do you have a license?” he plays along, knowing full well what the answer is.

I curl my mouth into a devilish smile. “Does it matter?”

He doesn't laugh but I see the amusement in his eyes. It's a foreign feeling but that doesn't mean it looks bad on him. “One day, I’ll teach you how to drive,” he promises and it sets my heart on fire so much that I have to mentally remind myself that he’s an aloof asshole who can’t get his feelings straight.

He starts the engine and I feel the car warming up. “You promise?” It’s so quiet, I don’t even know if he hears it.

Unfortunately, he does, not looking at me when he responds. “Promise.” It’s a ghost of a whisper, like he’s saying it to himself and not me; I don’t even think I’m meant to hear it. But I do. And it’s wonderful.

The atmosphere becomes slightly tense as I become a loss for words. That is, until the radio starts to play. One of my favorite indie songs fills the car and I hum along as he pulls out of the garage. When we're finally on the open road and the song fades out, I turn to stare at him.

He turns his head and I don't react fast enough. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, a blend of curiosity and irritation in his voice. Ah, there's the boy I know and love, I think to myself, rolling my eyes.

I'm caught off guard and instead of thinking, let my mouth run faster than my mind. “No offense, but I had you pegged as a Taylor Swift kind of guy.”

Piece #3

when you asked me if i'd ever been in love, i bet you didn't know that you were the first person in years to catch me off guard. mommy and daddy split when i was three. mommy used men like square pegs to fill the star-shaped hole in her heart. daddy loved work and greyed faster than the president. and me? i turned to ice cream - the only thing that wouldn't let me down.

in many ways, i was protected. i spent countless nights with my best friend and a box of tissues, listening to her cry over the newest fling boy that had left her. i learned that there's a reason why new couples always think they'll be the ones who'll make it, not knowing that those were words tried and worn by countless others who'd ultimately ended up alone. they were like lightning - brilliant but unable to be harnessed by humans and ultimately, lost. if you asked me, it seemed like a vicious cycle of disappointment.

so when you asked me if i'd ever been in love, i turned away. it always feels like love in the moment, doesn't it? and since heart and mind are part of two different systems, it's no wonder why we don't learn from our mistakes. have i ever been in love? no. that question implies that i lost the feeling and when it comes to love, if it's real, it never leaves - even if you beg.

and i did.

Piece #4

people say karma's a bitch but really, it's just a mirror.

Piece #5

i could give you a list of names they called me: jelly donut, fatso, four months pregnant. are you laughing right now? my "friends" did when i came crying, seeking some sort of reassurance that i was not what i was called. my parents, with broken tearducts and mechanical hearts, assured me it would pass - that running away meant weakness to the ones who fed off it like their last meal.

you would think that the worst place would be the hallways. tons of people to do the pushing and not much room to run away, especially if you're me. but no. the scariest place was the field. when teachers felt particularly ruthless, taking us outside and calling up the two best players in the class. "team captain," they'd say, not knowing that they'd just pressed the button to doom us all. the captains relished in their power, knowing who to pick and who to embarrass. but i'm not seeking validation and acceptance from the peers who called me names. without fail, when my name was called, i would walk with faux pride to the team with lips in grim lines. i was picked last because "hey, the fat girl is going to slow us down." i was picked last because no one wants a liability on their team.

Any emotion, guys? ANY? If I didn't get anything, please tell me so I can improve. This was just a fun exercise to share some writing [and different forms of it too!] with you guys.