Mandatory Rules On Being Qualified as "Book Blogger"

1. Make sure you post your reviews on Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week. Miss a day or post on the wrong day and have this title be stripped from you.
2. Only accept books from traditionally published authors because you're a book blogger. You're allowed to be snobby and are very exclusive to the glitz of publishing companies. And make sure to delete request emails from indie authors like you haven't even gotten an email. If they ask, reply with "oops! It got lost in the mail."
3. Make a show of being a good blogger on twitter. When a new blogger asks you for advice, don't worry, make sure you give them the wrong advice and LMAO when they completely screw up talking to an author or publisher. After all, it's all good fun.
4. Only post things about books. You're a book blog, not a music blog. Your readers don't care about music. So make sure you only post about books or you aren't a book blogger.
5. Post any and all pics of the books you get in the mail or buy. Other loser wannabe bloggers need to see how many books a real blogger gets. And by the way, that number is supposed to be 10 a week. If you don't get that, hah, you aren't a real blogger.
6. You are a reader and blogger! You are supposed to go "HAHA! You read Divergent in 2014? I'm LMAO because you aren't a true fan. I read it in 2011" or do this with any other books.
7. Have blogging friends but make sure they know you're the better book blogger. And make them send you their ARCs even if they requested it first or they need to pay for postage.
8. Demand ARCs and swag from authors and publishers. Because you're a book blogger, they're bound to accept you in a heartbeat. After all, they should feel lucky that you want to take their stuff. Think about it.
9. Don't do any memes because people hate memes. No one gives a crap about your Stacking the Shelves or who you want to Feature and Follow on friday. It's so dumb to do memes because no one cares. Plus, it makes you a bad blogger.
10. Make sure all your content is original. You're such a lame-o if you post regular reviews. Make your reviews in the form of poetry but not songs because again, ew music. (You're a book blog.) Like reviews in text form are so overdone. Also, make sure that you can't have any content that you share with other people or they'll think you're copying them. And lol, why would you want to copy something from someone else? You're obviously the better blogger.

If you're a new blogger, please be aware that this entire post is a joke. In fact, you're supposed to be a nice person and overall, make friends. If you want some advice on blogging (because there are NO rules!), feel free to talk to me via any social media I'm on or email me! I really promise that I don't do #3 (especially). Thanks for reading, guys.